Thursday, January 31, 2008

cos i saw a visitor from manchester uni on my statcounter,

HELLO SHERMAINE! :)

eh how come i dont see u online like AT ALL? is the time diff opp or smth? i wnted to leave comments on ur blog but i dont know how to hahah can u enable comments or smth :) hope ure doin good spotted any potential bf yet? bahaha. take care girl. GOD BLESSSS!

yeah ok today was qt a nice day lazing by the pool n swimming a bit. i wish i could do this everyday. its such a busy week. =(

Monday, January 28, 2008

"In His time, He'll fulfill the desires of our heart and affirm that we are in His will."

yeah, He knows. cos He's always looking into my heart... the heart which should be a heart of worship. the heart which should be loving.

I need to shift Jesus back into the centre of my life. :) i delight in You!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

caught 27 dresses today
awfully sweet & i really liked the plot.
not to mention the leading actor is very handsome! hahaha. nice eyes cute smile and messy hair which makes him look really good.
and i do find the leading actress quite pretty too! and its so fun to be a wedding planner n be everyone's bridesmaid. get to wear all the pretty dresses though some of them really look qt silly hahaha
but yeah i think the story's quite sweet. im just quite a sucker for happy endings.
spent last 2 nights dancing...quite fun n its actually tiring to my surprise. i even perspired which i so dint expect from like ballroom dancing. haha. so its good exercise :)
was dancing to "remember me this way" and felt emotional and spaced for a while. god knows whats on my mind.
&now im listening to a piece that i think would be perfect for waltzing! so bittersweet. wow this singer sounds really gooood. her voice is damn smooth and nice. her name's olivia btw. cool singer.

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Saturday, January 26, 2008

photos photos.. from lunch last wk with rciy to celeb jas' bday, sherms sending off, and fern's 21st at swissotel!

time to do some readings n tutorials now. sian sian sian :(

Thursday, January 24, 2008

why this feeling of discontentment?

eeeeek radio has quite gross songs these days. all the new songs are quite yucky i dont know why. last nov/dec had the best songs! or maybe i'm just bored of those.
today was quite fun. went spca for like 2 min cos they insisted on chasing us out at 4pm sharp. most dogs were the big sort, and i dint get to see bunnies.
oh well went to pasir ris and then changi area. no changi chickens around anymore. hahaha, wonder where they all went, or maybe i was there too early
saw some planes take off, the engine is deafening! theres one went pop pop pop or smth haha i dont know its some helicopter or what plane but it sure made my ears hurt man. geez
short while at woodlands dr17 haha. my cam cant capture shots at night thats so sad! piggybacking was qt funny hahaah and painful! hahaa ok not so la but..!
ok im qt tired i wna sleep alr. tennis tmr!

sugar dreams lovelies.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

yawns im tired.
just done with sherm's farewell presents haha. little smths but i think they all look damn pretty & sweet. i love mkg gifts n writing letters. ok maybe writing letters not so since my handwriting's really horrid now. shit maybe i was meant to be a doctor. haha.

anyhow wk 2 of school. and i feel like dying already. wk2 n i alr went library to do tut and read textbook! omgggg. haha i cant imagine how reading week would be like. i'd be buried in my piles of notes and the stupid textbooks.

now i just keep looking forward to my weekends, which start on Fridays (hooray!). and my weekends just rock.
had to squeeze through the crowds at chinatown and i bought a dress and some bracelets. i was supposed to shop for presents but i ended getting things for myself. i ought to be shot :( and i really should stop spending money. but its such a gd feeling, imagine toiling for the past 4 days, i jus wana feel happy! haha ok im jus talking rubbish i think its cos im pretty tired.

o gosh i better enjoy this wk cos when tutorials start i'd be so busy and stressed and not so happy. tmr, wed, thur, fri, sat n sun. all planned and seem really fun alreadyy :)

yesss i can sleep in tmr. i hate waking up early. hate hate hate. and i hate morning crowds. stop stepping on my toes u aunties! grr.

okok falling asleep. nightts

Friday, January 18, 2008

of sunshine & rainbows

sigh i think im still not used to uni starting...
readings and cases to be done on first week already
i'm feeling the competition already :(

work hard carlyn baby!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

okay things have been much better the past few days.
maybe i was just pmsing. oh, maybe.

anyhow the new sem has just started
im gna study bloody hard! or else i might just end up scoring Cs looking at how small many of my classes are.
thank goodness i see felyna in both my acctg classes. and estelle too. so it aint all as bad as i thought it to be :)
and im having 3 day week! leaving 3 days to study and 1 day for church stuff. haha.

went to ntu and had a Freaks gathering! it was really fun! :)
i always have endless laughter when with them. n i love them so much!
they're what i'd define friends for life really. looking forward to postgrad trip with them!

caifen;s 21st was not bad... we just kept snapping photos. haha there was really nth much to do anyway. lol all the 21sts this year.. excitinggg... some perhaps not so. haha.

alright shall go read book now. boy meets girl :)

Monday, January 14, 2008

sometimes i just wish my parents can be a little more loving.
they dont have to be as loving as other parents i see, all i ask for is a little more care and concern for each other. not harsh words and angry faces.

:( sigh i dont know why i keep crying these days.
sucks being so emotional. so much for not wanting to be an emofreak. damnit.

pray pray prayy. Dear God hear me please. I love You and thank You for loving me.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

is it me being selfish or jus being indecisive all this while?

what have i done, what should i have done, what should i do now?

i just feel so torn.

ugh. growl. sigh.
:(

Saturday, January 12, 2008

sigh thinking about some issues just make me feel so annoyed and angry =(
what right do you have to criticise me? cant u just accept the fact that we're different, we have different tastes, different mindsets etc? i hate ur sacarsm. and i dont deserved to be scolded at or given attitude. please, i dont owe anyone anything. if u find the things i like an eyesore, u can choose not to go out with me. and havent i emphasized enough i hate it when u expect certain actions n behaviors from me? why should u have any expectations of me at all?

i remember some empty promises.
honestly, i dont feel v happy these days, sometimes i dont even feel at ease ard you especially after all that remarks.
and i realised nowadays if i do cry, its out of frustration and anger, no longer out of sadness. sigh i dont know what it means.

anyhow, on a happier note, hidden treasures mtg was fun last night. dancing is funnn! classical dances are really cool. cant wait to learn them all :)

ok out for now

Thursday, January 10, 2008

i wish i was 16 again. oh the memories, they stay longer than some friendships formed. oh well, like they say, people enter and leave your life, you just got to take it and deal with it. to me its just a whole load of bullcrap? i simply cannot understand some people.

guess i'm just one who refuses to deal with losses. i simply hate losing things and much less people whom i love. but then again, some so called friends are really annoying. im tired of saying hello how r you first. i'm sorry but its really tiring to keep trying.

schools starting on mon. tue is my free day! :) hopefully i'm able to appeal for my tax module or my exams might be chui. sigh. i cant afford Bs or B-s this sem. :( taking a geog gem, sounds fun i hope it is. hopefully it'd be a fruitful semester. and then i'd have 2 more years to go!

qt an eventful week. walking ard b4 HT mtg tmr, ferns 21st on sat, and steamboat lunch with churchies on sun, visitin ntu on tue with sherm and dinner with them bandfreaks. joyjoy!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

messy dressup table

ST NICKS!

the best canteen everrrrr. orange bowl, meatball beehoon, fried rice with wanton, uncle mobeen's ice tea ice milo, mushroom/ham& cheese toast. MAJOR YUMMM!

the views i miss.

i love st nicks!

i just heard the dj on 987 say smth like if you're feeling down just sing silly songs the "if you're happy and you know it..." song. and that just reminded me of us teaching in cambodia :( the faces on the kids are priceless. i miss those faces. how they giggle when we shake or act like a duck. haha how they treat us like superstars, how we taught them YO WADZUPPPPP. they probably dint understand half the things we taught but their eagerness to learn amazes me. so yeah despites all my daily complains about a million and one things, i actually know and feel blessed. to have a healthy body and mind, loving parents (who just nag a bit more) and family, and friends who care for me. and of cos, having an awesome daddyinheaven who only gives me more each day.

met amanda & sherm to go st nicks today. it was really fun and yummy! :) it's always fun with those girls. so many photos i want to upload but im kinda lazy. maybe i'll create collages tmr :)

bible time. nighty nights

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Bye bye curly wurlies

hair cut today after church n stuff
quite impulsive but then again my hair is like dying all. definitely in need of a haircut.
snipped off qt a bit. no more curls. im back to straight black hair. its qt short now n its been a while since i cut this short. haha. feels qt fun tho, i feel kinda spunkier. lolol
guess i'd miss twirling my hair :(

shall post pictures tmr! tmr i'm gona meet my dear band freaks. going back to st nicks with amanda for a lunch feast. i swear im buying food from every single stall. st nicks food is seriously YUM. mushroom cheese toast, meatball mian xian, orange bowl, wanton fried rice... n so on.
happyness.
catching up with sherm after, who's heading to manchester in a matter of weeks. i'll miss bullshitting to her. haha. and i'm looking forward to seeing pictures of her cute ang moh classmates on her blog. hahaha.

one more week before school starts again. i hope i get all the modules i want.

oh yes! i finally got my external hard disk of 80gb. no more of editing photos, deleting songs what nots. everythg goes there! it is my new bao bei. :)
and i can finally get my cambodia pics into my hard disk. yessss pics will be up soon. i need to select the really nice ones since i cant possibly upload all 750+ pics and thats from my cam alone.

next i'm gonna figure how to dl songs n movies and how to transfer them and pics into my poddy. oooh i love & hate technology seriously.

well its a happy weekend and i'm looking forward to church tmr! :)
no longer goin exchange to ntu cos they only freaking approved 2 modules. and guess what, they recommended me to take mktg modules but like WHAAAT excuse me i'm an accounting and finance student! i dont want to take marketing! so stupid. zzz. so i'm stuck at nus and pray hard and gna work hard so that my cap will up this coming sem. and of cos, the sems to come.

kk i'm tired. sleeping already nights!

Friday, January 4, 2008

& a happy new year

thailand with the kids! :)

my fav churchies. will miss themm

praise the Lord with all my heart
praise Him for He has done great things
His banner over me is love, His love
His banner over me is love, His love!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

supper

baby ball cookies are super yum yum yummy! i had 2 packets for supper haha and i'm still a little hungry. i love the way those little balls melt in my mouth. mmmmm!

speaking of food, i cant wait to learn cooking! i would be so proud. hurr.

k i'm slpg soon. nights!

second day of 08

bye bye 2007
new year's eve was nice. shopped abit (i need to stop shopping), had steamboat chicken rice which wasnt as yummy as i rmbed, caught I am Legend and bus ride back. bus ride was prob the most fun part haha. and the year just came to an end.. its been a year filled with emotions, drama and lotsa tears. what's done's done. what's to come will come. :)

hello 2008 :)
1st jan 08 was pretty great too. had a nice lunch at a mini park haha. church from 4pm onwards with hidden treasures. the start of a journey an adventure in His love. not too familiar with most of the people in the group but i suppose it takes time to warm up and stuff. but everyone seem really nice and funny too. like at least i dont feel damn awkward or anythg with them. seem like an easygoin bunch. i'm looking forward to good times :) had meeting and then rosary devotion and mass. seafood dinner after. was a chilly night man. felt damn cold throughout!

and today, i took out my braces! hurr i just cant stop running my tongue across my teeth. feels so...smooth! hee :) no more gaps and no more metal in my mouth.
sian i need to pack my wardrobe tomorrow. need to clear space for all my new clothes! anyway just for record's sake, i bought 28 tops/tunics/dresses, 5 pairs of shorts, 4 bras, 3 panties, 2 pairs of footwear, 3 belts and 2 bags from bangkok! all conquered in a short span of 1.5 days. which is totally not enough! thank goodness we were there for a short while or else imagine if i spent 4 days there, i think i'd spend up to 1000bucks. shit i hate the shopaholic in me. but damn shopping is just too fun!

so well anyway resolutions for the year 08 -
1) to be punctual! or at least not so late... hurr
2) be nice to everyone.
3) grow spiritually
4) learn to forgive
5) save more money
6) learn driving and pass prac
7) study really really hard!
8) be respectful towards my parents.

hopefully i can stick to most of them. okay now that i've thought of driving i think i shld check out the practical dates.

out.

yours

carlyn andrea tan
20.08.1987

Loves God
& perhaps, you

lovers

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